Showing posts with label assassin. Show all posts
Showing posts with label assassin. Show all posts

Wednesday, February 10, 2016

The loveable assassin - Glen Barrera

I admit to being intrigued by Glen Barrera, the man behind the assassin who can't dance, a man who routinely shoots people and blows them up. (Glen will smile at the deliberate ambiguity - he's a writer who notices nuances.) So who is he exactly?



Glen, a former partner in a real estate appraisal company, who still takes appraisal assignments from time to time, now writes. Over the years he's edited a company newsletter, written short stories (one a contest winner) and poetry. It wasn't until he divorced a few years ago, however, that he finally found time to take a writing course while working on his first novel. The Assassin Who Couldn't Dance and a follow-up novel, A Capable and Wide Revenge (now available), were tutored by Michael Mirolla, a published Canadian writer. He is now working on a third novel with the working title, Sweet Peach. Glen grew up in Chicago, with college at Western Illinois University, College of DuPage and the University of Illinois, Chicago. He studied Isshinryu Karate for fourteen years, sailed for seven years out of Burnham Harbor, practices Tai Chi and plays classical guitar. A Chicago boy at heart, he now lives in a western suburb.
You say you started writing classes after your divorce. Was the personal change a catalyst in looking at your professional future? Had you always wanted to write?
I believe the idea to write was an extension of the countless books I’d read, an “I can do that” mentality, whether for better or worse in actuality. My first novel was written in the 1980s, on an Underwood typewriter (yeah, carbon copy), with no recourse other than a full re-type if I screwed up after fifty pages and needed to correct a plot-point back at page twenty-five (I think I still have the rejection slips). With a wife, two children and a demanding career, however, writing had to take a back seat to life. I was still writing, but in a technical environment. But even before the divorce, I knew I wanted to write fiction again. Writing classes, then, were a natural progression, to get me back into the rhythm and structure of the story. So no, there were no ambitions to write as a professional – I simply wanted to write.      
I often wonder whether I could have written at all if I'd had to hand-write or type a manuscript - redrafting and edits would have been a nightmare!

I know that you care deeply about work being well-written and well-edited. What have you gained from writing classes? Would you recommend them? Do you still go?
Writing classes were the best prelude to writing fiction that I could imagine. I signed up with an internet class from Canada, twenty lessons, coached by a published Canadian writer. The later part of the lessons took me through most of my first novel. It wasn’t a “gravy” adventure with accolades galore for my brilliant writing. Instead, my tutor, serious about the craft of writing, had no problem in correcting my errant ways with countless raps on my knuckles with his five pound cyber ruler. It stings. 

After two years, with very sore knuckles and a humbled opinion of my genius, I learned. So yes, I recommend writing classes. Taped to my desk is a quote (from Quality of Course): “Nice writing isn’t enough. It isn’t enough to have smooth and pretty language. You have to surprise the reader frequently, you can’t just be nice all the time. Provoke the reader. Astonish the reader. Writing that has no surprises is as bland as oatmeal…” Now, rather than classes, I meet every week with a very talented writers group of seven, all working on novels. I can bring in my weeks’ worth of writing, six copies, and have everyone read, correct and comment. I still get rapped on the knuckles occasionally, only this time verbally. 

Hector is an endearing character (for an assassin :) ) How did you come up with the idea of 'the assassin who couldn't dance' (and of course a great title for the book. Did you know straight away that Hector would be such a key character?
The idea for Hector came about through my belief that a good person isn’t always good – and a bad person isn’t always bad. I had been reading any and all thrillers I could find at the time, and the plots became boringly consistent: the “good” guys always against the “bad” middle-eastern terrorists. I decided to bend the rule. I knew Hector would be a key character. From seven years old until the age of twenty-three, along with classroom studies he’d been taught to kill. His target being the U.S. Army officers responsible for the deaths of his father and brother. He didn’t have a choice. But with little social interaction during those years - friends never made and family hardly known - he is emotionally vulnerable as he sets out on his quest of vengeance. He asks himself at one point in the story: If his family had moved to the States sixteen years before, would he have a girlfriend now? Would he have learned how to dance? It was such an innocent query, so like the character, I decided to use it in the title.  

'A Capable and Wide Revenge' is another interesting title. How did you come up with this one?
It’s been a long time since I’ve read the complete works of Shakespeare, so I can’t say I remembered the line from Othello. But the quote I used (from Dictionary of Quotations by Bergen Evens), which reflected exactly what I had in mind, read: “Till that a capable and wide revenge swallow them up.” Shakespeare: Othello III.iii 

amazon link

Your thrillers detail special ops and Middle East politics. How do you get your background information? Or should I call it 'intel' :) ?
Most of the background information came from books, the internet, and two Marine vets with experience in Iraq. I probably went through four or five books relating to the Gulf War. The internet also offered a wealth of information. In the second book  A Capable and Wide Revenge  I used an armored Humvee, mounted with a 50 cal. machine gun. Not only were pictures plentiful for research, but videos of the Humvee with the machine gun in action came along as a nice bonus. Articles pertaining to political structure in Baghdad, street views, neighborhoods and militant groups were there for the taking. I’ll confess, I’ve taken many liberties with the truth in the course of my novels, but then again, I don’t feel I was too far from the actuality.  

Events in your novels seem to me to be mirrored in events that hit the news. Have you had a moment where you switched on the TV and there it was - your fictional story come to life?
Yes. The first book took place in 2006, the second in 2009. The destabilization and turmoil in Iraq, and its effects, were a given even as I wrote. With approximately one million (+) U.S. dollars funneled into Iraq each day, corruption was rife and militant groups controlled areas police were loath to enter. The U.S. pulled the last of its troops in December 2011, leaving a vacuum to be filled – and it was, as is apparent today. The geopolitical nature of the area would rule out a direct correlation to the Vietnam fiasco, but as a student of military history I’d have to quote Santayana: “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.”

Do you worry that your books might attract attention from terrorists or militant groups?
Not really. For the most part I try to be somewhat vague. In Capable and Wide, I noted actual names for the militant groups in and around Baghdad at the time, but the names I eventually used for my “bad guy” groups – Sword of the Righteous Lions and Green Shields of Allah – were made up, using bits and pieces of the others. I can’t get into too much trouble with that…I think (he said, looking over his shoulder).

What do you hope readers will get from reading your books?
My original theme was the relationship of family and friends within conflict, that they will support each other no matter the odds. But I found myself writing another theme as well – that is, everyone is searching for someone special to love, and when that love is found you don’t want to let it go. In The Assassin, Lucy and Hector/Morgan and Gil were looking for that love. In Capable and Wide, it was Wes Easterly, Darien and Colin, and even twelve-year-old Ashi who needed that special belonging. I guess I’ve always rooted for the underdog, faced-off against the bully that life, and people, can sometimes be.  

What are your future projects?
I’m currently working on a book titled, Sweet Peach. The first line of her introduction to the story is: Sweet Peach (yeah, momma was slugging beers right through the midwife’s delivery) stumbled out of her battered Honda Civic. 

The story takes place in Tennessee. Hector, Gil and Morgan, and the others will be back. It’s a bit different from the previous books that used Iraq as a backdrop. I’m currently working on some “bad guys” as worthy adversaries, of the drug-running, cartel type. This time they’re from Mexico. 

What are your own favourite books?Strangely, as I write fiction, many of my top picks are non-fiction. I’ve read The Outline of History by H.G. Wells (originally written in 1920, revised in 1976) three times. Not just for its historical significance, but for its literary elegance. H.G. is a great writer! In contrast, I finally read Gibbon’s History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire three years ago. It was written (first volume) in 1776. The history is good for the period, imbued with the bias and prejudice of the time, but the writing tends to be stifled, flat, and exciting as year-old fruitcake (all the footnotes are in Latin, and even with my two years of study, plus copious notes taken from Google translation, I could only pick up about 60%). Of course, Tolkien is still a favorite. I re-read him every year or two. I’m currently reading a lot of Indie publications, and have found some very good writers. But as I read so many, I can’t recall the title of the book I read last week, or who wrote it. I could give a list of authors I like, but I’d likely leave someone out. 

What about the private Glen Barrera? What are your favourite activities apart from writing and reading? Can you dance?
Ha! Yes, I can dance fairly well. I also play classical and blues guitar (although, I don’t pick up my guitars as much as I used to). I sailed on Lake Michigan for a few years on a Rhodes 22 and a Seaward 26. Unfortunately, we had to sell the boat when my ex and I divorced. I still practice Karate kata (formalized movements like Tai Chi, but faster and with full force) and Tai Chi. I was in Florida this past November, staying with my sister who works with horses as a trainer/dressage teacher/coach. It’s been a long time since I’ve been on a horse, let alone one showing at a dressage-trained level. It was a very interesting experience, with riding nuances to boggle the mind. A new endeavor perhaps? 

Which question do you wish somebody would ask in interview?
Can you sing?
And the answer is?
Yes. I was a member of the Bogan (my Chicago High School) Boys Choir. Except, our “choir” relied on one of us getting dad’s car, getting an older guy to buy beer for the four or five of us, and then cruise around singing songs on the car radio (okay, and trying to pick up girls). 

The Assassin Who Couldn't Dance

The Story
Blue-eyed Hector Munoz (his present name) is fluent in five languages, can kill a man a hundred different ways and yet, at twenty-three had learned almost nothing about life and love. His father and brother were brutally murdered by corrupt U.S. military officers when he was seven. The teacher, a close friend of his father, took control of the boy’s life, as well as the future debt to be paid. Now, after years of rigorous training, the assassin is judged ready. But is he?

The plan to draw out the officers has been set into motion. Hector has only to illegally cross the border from Mexico and retrieve keys to safe deposit boxes containing eight-million dollars and incriminating documents before the officers can respond. It shouldn’t be a problem. But then Hector’s plan didn’t include Mexican bandits; ruthless mercenaries also after the keys and led by a sadistic cowboy; or a sleazy Chicago mob figure. Things get more complicated for him when a third party joins the search for the keys, the crazed leader of a militia group with a secret room in his basement reserved for “guests” – and then falling in love with an escaped guest, Lucy. Hector also didn’t realize that the mercenaries’ target, an ex-Force Recon team holding the keys and the last four men to see his father alive, were far from old and rusty.

In the race for the keys, Hector must confront the emotional emptiness in his life that he wasn’t allowed to experience in his quest for vengeance. With time running out, he is forced to make a choice: follow the assassination plan or ally with the surviving recon team, their families, and Lucy before they are eliminated; and, maybe discover who he really is.

amazon link

The Assassin Who Couldn't Dance 

My Review

Loyalty between friends in all-action special ops thriller
I was worried the book might be too violent for my taste but Glen Barrera's judgement stayed within what worked for me as part of a fast-paced all-action story. The opening scene is as violent as the book gets so that sets the tone - and gets you straight into the twists of the plot and some of the key players. If the guerilla warfare and killing can be gutsy, the romance is the opposite - tender and implicit.

What I think sets this at the top of its genre is the portrayal of loyalty and trust in the midst of warfare. We see traditional military values (and weapons) in the midst of criminal chaos and outright warfare and we care about this band of brothers. I want a new term to replace 'band of brothers' because what the author does really well is to include women as equals in that band. The links of loyalty and trust unite the whole group, with romances being more like special friendships within the overall bonds. Crime novels often show the bond between detective partners but this is the first book I've read which really shows group friendship in extreme duress. Imagine the Famous Five in the army, having adventures in which people are killed.


'The Assassin' and 'A Wide and Capable Revenge' give you no time to draw breath but across the two books the reader gets to know the characters more. The language is suitably muscular and when there is a little description, it always fits the scene and the characters - I'd enjoy more of that but then, I guess I'm reading out of my usual genre and I'm not used to all that gunfire!

Coming Soon! Twisted Tales

Glen and I will be keeping each other company in this collection of short stories from Readers' Circle of Avenue Park. The Burglar by Glen Barrera is about a burglar's chance meeting with a large unfriendly dog. My story The 13th Sign also features a dog of sorts... Perhaps Twisted Tails may be more appropriate. I'll keep you posted re publication as it looks like great holiday reading.

Friday, March 14, 2014

Game of Thrones - Richard III and the princes in the Tower


Today being the Ides of March - the 15th - (in UK time), it seems fitting to have a Guest Post about one of the oldest, most famous, most vile (alleged) murders in English history.

Guest post from Moonyeen Blakey, author of 'The Assassin's Wife', medieval fiction with a supernatural twist. The story of Nan, a servant girl gifted with second sight, draws the reader into one of history's most famous unsolved crimes through Nan's relationships with those in the household of Richard, Duke of Gloucester, later King Richard III


Love him? Hate him? Richard III still inspires extreme reactions and the controversy over where his final resting place should be rages on. Moon joins me on my blog to give her insights, based on years of research, into the dark crime which labelled Richard a villain, helped along by Shakespeare's 'propaganda'.


Picture


Dirty, Devilish Deeds in the Tower

Last year's discovery of Richard III's bones under a carpark in Leicester, raised more than new interest in the history of this much maligned king. It stirred the spectres of two, lost, little, noble boys said to haunt the Garden Tower. Who were these waifs in black velvet, doomed to cling hand-clasped and forlorn, confronting us perpetually with their abject misery?  Who could have abandoned them to such a fate?

Those primary school-children who studied history during the 1960s might have had some inkling. According to a 'potted' Children's History Book Series published by Unstead and used throughout schools for 7-11 years in England, these small boys belonged to the Royal House of York. They were in fact the sons of Edward IV, the dashing Yorkist king who took the crown from poor, mad Henry VI of the Royal House of Lancaster. Again, according to Unstead, whole swathes of history could be reduced to just a few relevant sentences summing up the entire later 15th century history of England to something like: 'The rival barons fought for the crown and the strongest set himself up as king.' (Sorry, girls, only manipulative, scheming princesses/noblewomen stood any chance of influencing the menfolk - and then probably by using the usual methods!)

It seemed the peasant population drifted along in some thick miasma of ignorance merely 'obeying orders' and benefiting nothing from the various changes on either side. Kings came and went, princesses were bought and sold, nobles swapped sides and embraced underhand deals, and Richard Neville, the wily Earl of Warwick, manoeuvred all the pieces, like a giant puppet-master, in this fascinating Game of Thrones.

Richard III's bones provided historians with a wealth of exciting information. First he suffered from scoliosis--a painful disease of the spine. Here was meat and drink for all who'd believed the tales of the wicked, hunch-backed uncle who'd crept up the Tower steps to murder the innocent children in the dark! My not-so-scholarly school book displayed just this picture - the twisted monarch leering villainously as he trod his solitary way towards the slumbering lads to snuff out their lives!

Of course the Richard III Society, championed by the passionate Phillipa Langley, refused to accept Richard's infamy. Presenting the public with a charming, romantic reconstruction of the king's head, they quickly won huge support. I suspect many who saw the Unstead History Book refused to believe such a man could have smothered his nephews single-handed. Certainly I was never convinced.

But those two boys - Edward, Prince of Wales, eldest son to Edward IV, and young Richard, Duke of York, his brother, disappeared mysteriously in1486. So what became of them?

The struggle for power is never pretty. Whilst 15th Century England's noble cousins battled for the throne, desperate to provide the country with the strongest ruler, to maintain England's powerful position in Europe, and ensure the longevity of the ruling family, various wicked deeds were performed 'for the best'. Doubtless the princes' murder was such a one.

Henry VI's reign demonstrated the disaster of having a minor on the throne. No one wanted a similiar situation. A united family created strength and security. Noble girls proved useful assets in cementing firm alliances. Eventually everyone might be expected to accept what seemed most expedient for such dangerous times. In this case, to exclude the young princes and plump for loyalty, strength and experience. The logical choice had to be Richard III.

Is it possible that people should desert the princes' cause so quickly? No doubt the commons recalled Edward IV --that handsome, courageous, warrior-king who'd sired them, with admiration and nostalgia. But the people were sick and tired of war. His memory faded into a kind of Mills and Boon Romance--a gorgeous image which had been beautifully created and accentuated by the rumours of his secret marriages and dangerous liaisons. But who wanted to begin on another era of warfare and intrigue? Edward's wife, the fabled beauty Elizabeth Wydeville, was never popular. She had proved greedy and ambitious, promoting her own family beyond the old nobility. People feared she would take the real power behind the throne once her son was crowned. Perhaps it was time to make some drastic changes?

People will see what they want to see. Avoiding close examination of the facts allows one to create a kind of vague, rosy glow over the past. Perhaps it was time to let the princes go...? Perhaps the trail of secrets concerning their disappearance should not be unravelled after all? 

Of course many people stood to profit by their removal. Historians argue still as to who might have plotted and schemed for their demise. The first name which springs to mind is probably Henry Tudor, product of Margaret Beaufort's cold, religious fanaticism, the boy on whom she lavished all her` attention, Determined he should be king, Margaret, clever as a snake, wound her coils about all those noble persons who might aid her to fulfill this ambition--an ambition she believed to be a part of his destiny.

And what about Harry Buckingham? Disgruntled member of the old nobility,forced into an arranged marriage with a dreaded Wydeville princess, old friend of Richard III, why did he suddenly turn rebel?

There are so many possibilities when it comes to choosing villains!

But perhaps it was just sheer exhaustion which made the people of England turn their backs on the princes? We all love a change. The new order beckoned. If only the country could forget about fighting and get back on its feet again... A change is as good as a rest?

Sadly, for the boys in the Tower, they were soon forgotten - but not quite. Throughout the turbulent years that followed still people sought for answers. Finding bones under an old staircase sparked yet more curiosity... But DNA testing was still necessary to identify these bones.

Now, with all this knowledge at their fingertips, and the bones of King Richard III in their capable hands, all the scientists need is the Queen's permssion to re-examine those mysterious finds. Why then, is she so reluctant to allow this???!     

Buy 'The Assssin's Wife' on

 amazon.com 

amazon.co.uk 

The Book Depository

 B & N

My review

A gripping new take on the princes in the tower

Impeccable research and really takes you into the period

The central, fictional character, Nan, is our narrator, and a very likeable young girl. Gifted - or cursed - with second sight, she is caught up in the conflict between York and Lancaster, kings and their womenfolk, as a servant in various important households. I was impressed by the way Blakey ensured that Nan moved to wherever the story was best served, while making Nan's motives for such a move seem entirely believable. I knew little about this period of history apart from the controversy over the princes' fate but I was completely drawn into the 15th century world and its people, real and imagined. Empathy with Nan made me desperate to prevent the scene recurring in her nightmares and there was plenty of suspense to keep those pages turning. It was even possible to understand Nan's love and compassion for the assassin of the title, so well were the tragic dilemmas of the period conveyed.

Maybe there is a little too much ominous melodrama and obscure prophesy for my taste but this is just the sort of book to read curled up by the fire, on a winter's evening, shivering as the ghost blows out a candle, or the nightmare raven promises blood.

Thursday, February 2, 2012

The Dog Booker Prize for Fiction



There's a category for 'Best Supporting Role' in the Oscars and I think there ought to be a similar category for all those canine characters whose presence enlivens a novel - not the main characters but the ones who steal the show when they get the chance. So forget the Man Booker, with its prima donnas and petty controversies, and welcome to the Dog Booker, where the winners are all boot lickers and tail wagglers.


You're welcome to post nominations and I'll add them to this blog during 2012.

Drum roll. This award is dedicated to all the dogs who were badly written, especially those who died as mere plot devices, intended to jerk a tear and show the threat to the main human characters, who usually forgot about their dead dog within 30 seconds of car chase.

This year's award is especially dedicated to the red setter in the Janet and John books* by which I was punished at school in the name of learning to read (despite the fact that I already could).Younger people will have suffered the Peter and Jane version*. All of us will remember forever that symbol of the perfect family; a Mummy, a Daddy, a brother and sister, and that red setter in the garden, playing with a ball. Yes, the ball was red too (red being a monosyllable composed of three graphs, and therefore appropriate vocabulary for a six year old child, who in another century would have been allowed to learn to read in three languages - or not at all).

Who can forget the immortal lines:-
'Look Peter.
Look Jane.
See the dog.
See the dog run.
See the ball.
See the dog run with the ball.'

I will never know your name, red setter, but I know you deserved better and I apologise, on behalf of all writers.


The nominations so far for 'Best Supporting Canine Role in Fiction' are:-

Timmy in 'The Famous Five' by Enid Blyton - as Timmy is actually one of the famous five, it's a moot point whether he's a minor character but as I'm the one who makes up the rules, he's nominated. A brown mongrel with a very long tail and loving brown eyes, Timmy sorted the numerous criminals of Dorset by tying them up, stealing their plans or reporting them to the CID, and then he'd be back for a cuddle in the cove, while his loving owner George (short for Georgina) cracked open a (ginger) beer. In those days criminals always had written plans, without which they were lost. As lovable hero dogs go, Timmy is right up there with Lassie - nostalgic idealism. 5/5 barks from me for being one of the dogs you meet as a child and never forget. Incidentally, why were interesting girls, like George, always 'tomboys'? Conversely, being 'girlish' was not really complimentary about a boy.

Bouncer in 'The Reluctant Widow' by Georgette Heyer - I love this dog! A large English 18th century hound, he is all youthful exuberance, misdirected (from a human viewpoint) into all activities dirty and destructive, chasing game away instead of to hunters, disappearing for his own pleasures when required on guard duty and more dangerous when obeying orders than when ignoring them. We first meet Bouncer when the young man who owns him carelessly orders him to 'guard' without clarifying what or whom is to be guarded, and Bouncer dutifully prevents our heroine from stirring one dainty ankle's length from her chair throughout the day until Bouncer's master returns. Bouncer excels at night watch, when his mere presence is enough to deter intruders - and of course anyone in the house who wishes to move from one room to another. Gets 5/5 barks from me - a real dog.

Nighteyes in the fantasy 'Assassin' series by Robin Hobb - although a wolf, Nighteyes deserves his place here because seeing through his nighteyes is very much an imaginative leap into the canine world by the human, Fitz. The boy training to be an assassin is unable to hold back bonding with the wolf despite the laws against this old magic, and despite the risks of entering too far into a wolf's way of life. Nighteyes is a raw force of nature, fierce and loyal, unequivocal. If you want to lope deeper into twilight, the time 'entre chien et loup' as the French say, 'between the dog and the wolf', and start to wonder why you would want another human in your life at all, when you could be part of the pack, you'll love this canine character. 5/5 barks for this dog-ancestor. You're not sure whether he's turning you savage more than you're taming him.

Jiggs in 'Bravo's Veil' by Michael Croucher - It's WW1 and Paul is an evacuee in Cornwall, far from his family in London, and attacked by the same bullies who came on the train with him.  This time, however, the gutsy little dog of his host family is there as back-up and every child's dream dog comes to life. Jiggs is best friend, protector and confidante. He keeps the nightmares at bay just by being there. When I heard these lines sung by Francis Cabrel, I thought they were about my dog 'Je suis le guardien du sommeil des ses nuits/Je l'aime a mourir' (I am the guardian of her night's sleep/ I love her and I'd die for her). 5/5 barks for Jiggs, for being best friend for a lonely child.

Nici in 'Song at Dawn' by Jean Gill - yes, I'm nominating my own character. If this was a real award I'd get a friend to nominate my book but I thought I'd take a short-cut. This dog was the catalyst tow riting the novel at all. I was reading an American book about troubadours and found this; 'It is rumoured that there was a female troubadour travelling in the south of France with a big white dog'. How could I not write this story? Nici is a Pyrenean mountain dog, too fond of people to be any use guarding sheep, and his name means 'Stupid' in Occitan. He hooks up with a runaway girl and mostly does his own doggy thing, but turns up for food and night duty in her doorway. He ignores insults and orders alike, makes his own mind up about what's best and he is just there, a presence. A reader said to me, 'It's a pity you didn't do more with the dog.' I am writing Book 2 at this very moment and Nici is alive and well, living in Die with his troubadour mistress. 5/5 barks for being a big white dog and behaving like a big white dog.


You've noticed that they all get 5/5 barks. Well, I nominated them, didn't I? If you're barking too, post your nominations. The prize is the prospect of international fame. (My lawyers cautioned me against offering international fame itself rather than the prospect, which is sufficiently intangible and more than enough for most writers to live on, never mind their fictional characters.)

French Language Nominations
Thanks to the readers who suggested
Idéfix/Dogmatix in the Asterix books by René  Goscinny and Albert Uderzo - the punning pooch belonging to Obelix in the cartoon series. A little black and white mongrel with rabbit ears and a happy face, Idéfix (Dogmatix in the English translation) first makes his appearance as a literal running joke. He is also the first canine ecologist, defending his  beloved trees with tooth and claw, in true Celtic druid manner. Possessively close to his master, he is won over by Obelix's adored Panacea when she kisses him.

Bill in Boule et Bill by Jean Roba and Maurice Rosy- a cocker spaniel whose actions speak for him. Bill is the sort of dog who likes sleeping on sofas and hates baths. Bill would do anything for his boy master - except get in a bath. He even has his picture on an album cover - Pink and Blue's Night Slave. As a title character, Bill isn't minor, but I'll allow him in as a foreigner.

Milou/Snowy in the Tintin books by Hergé - as the English translation 'Snowy' prosaically suggests, Milou is white, a fox terrier, who is yet another master-loving boy-saving hero. However, as well as the endearing cartoons, his weakness for alcohol and fear of spiders distinguish him from the run-of-the-mill, as does his tendency to think in sardonic thought-bubbles. 

News flash - in the film world it looks like Martin Scorsese has won his case to nominate Blackie, the snarling doberman from 'Hugo' for the Golden Collar Award. Scorsese thought it unfair that the cute Jack Russell from the silent film 'The Artist' should be an automatic choice and Blackie should have to fight to be appreciated. Uggie is still front-runner but if they both turn up at the Awards Ceremony, I know who I'd put my money on.

*If you haven't read it before, this poem by Wendy Cope is the funniest take on Peter and Jane ever. Wendy Cope was lucky enough to meet me once was a primary school teacher who suffered these books even more often than her pupils.

Reading Scheme
Here is Peter. Here is Jane. They like fun.
Jane has a big doll. Peter has a ball.
Look, Jane, look! Look at the dog! See him run!
Here is Mummy. She has baked a bun.
Here is the milkman. He has come to call.
Here is Peter.Here is Jane. They like fun
Go Peter! Go Jane! Come, milkman, come!
The milkman likes Mummy. She likes them all
Look, Jane, look! Look at the dog! See him run!
Here are the curtains. They shut out the sun.
Let us peep! On tiptoe Jane! You are small!
Here is Peter. Here is Jane. They like fun.
I hear a car, Jane. The milkman looks glum.
Here is Daddy in his car. Daddy is tall.
Look, Jane, look! Look at the dog! See him run!
Daddy looks very cross. has he a gun?
Up milkman! Up milkman! Over the wall!
Here is Jane. They like fun.
Look, Jane, look! Look at the dog! See him run!